I LOST MYSELF AGAIN

 Hye.

I don’t know what happened to me tonight. I lost myself thinking about many things that actually happened in the past. I kept faking myself to be happy, where am not. I know i write broken english but nvm. At least i’ve tried to write in english. It feels fire inside that i just wanna burn myself out. It is too painful to realise that all the happy moments with the ex are gone. I have to start a new moment where I need to focus on myself again. I need that strength to keep me going on. But currently I don’t have that courage to keep moving forward. So here i am, writing. I lost myself because I don’t have the motivation to look forward. Or maybe its just my period session? Idk. Still, i’m tired. I lied to people that I’m strong but I’m not. Now I’m 22 years old. But i feel like I’m still 17.

How i wishes i can turn back times where the happy and unworried moments. I was a kid who doesn’t know about life, love, other growing up things. All I know is a happy me who was the braviest kid and loud happiest go lucky person. All i know is I sang all the time, i sang with my wholeheart that can makes me feel happy. All I know, i was just a kid who didn’t care about what people said to me. How sad my life but not that sad as everyone else. It just a small thing that God tested me and I already bragging about that. I know that Allah will give me the best, and I believe in that. I will wait the miracle and will always keep my heads up